


Stop Running And Kiss Me

by Hayden_IsTrying



Series: Let me love you [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, High School, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, I'm Sorry, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Neglect, Pining, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Romantic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sad with a Happy Ending, Teen Romance, This hurts, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Violence, i love remus and deciet so much, i needed a bad guy and all the other characters were taken
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hayden_IsTrying/pseuds/Hayden_IsTrying
Summary: Roman and Virgil are crushing on each other, but Roman doesn't know how to even begin to understand his feelings and hasn't grown up with positive ideas of relationships. Virgil believes they can work on it, but will he get tired of Roman running away?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Series: Let me love you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743790
Comments: 56
Kudos: 87





	1. ‘The Cute Art Kid’

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Kaz co-wrote this with me, but they don't have an AO3 account, so I can't link them, though I will say, Kaz, I love you! <3 Let me know if you guys want more of this story because we have a lot more of it, but this is a cut-down version.
> 
> ***NEW CHAPTERS EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY***

It was another gruelling day in Jefferson High and Roman sat at a table waiting for school to start. He had his sketchbook and he was in the zone listening to the Hadestown playlist. He was thirty minutes early but he didn't mind since he was a morning person and it was a nice quiet period where he could relax before 6 hours of hell in school.

Virgil walks in through the front gates, his group of popular friends following him, they're practically untouchable, they bring such order, yet such chaos, He's wearing his usual makeup of dark blackberry lipstick and a smokey eye. Remy, Patton and Logan follow behind him and Remy is clinging onto his taller boyfriend Logan, deep in conversation.

Roman realized that people were going inside and he started to pack up his things when Janus came up behind him and snatched the sketchbook out of his hands. "What are you drawing, nerd? Hey, Remus come look at this! Look at what this dumbass is drawing!" 

"Come on guys, can I please just have it back?" Roman looked around nervously and tried to grab it back.

Janus pulled it out of Roman's reach and opened it to the latest drawing. "Haha look at it!" He pulled Roman close and whispered, "You will never amount to anything." 

He let him go and threw his sketchbook into the bushes. Remus followed behind, dying of laughter as the late bell rang. Roman scrambled to grab the sketchbook as soon as he was out of Janus' sight and hurried to get to class.

Virgil laughed loudly at something Patton had said, "God, I love you, Pat," he smiled, "That was your best dad joke in a while" he chuckled. "Awe, thanks, Virge" Patton smiled, "Come on you guys we gotta get to class or we'll be late." they then all walked into the building going to their designated classes. Virgil waltzed into his art class, he liked art, he painted these large vibrant paintings of pride flags and anti stereotype.

His art was always large and showy, it meant that he could put passion into it and he loved that. Right now he was working on a giant canvas and he was painting a pride protest all in rainbow colours. Everyone's heads turned as he walked in and a few people tried to say something, but he heard the usual whispers and simply sat down in his place, ignoring it.

Roman would normally be beaming when he walked into art but Janus had ruined the day earlier than normal. It was his own fault though. He should have been paying attention. Roman noticed Virgil sitting at his table already working on another pride poster. 

He wished he had the confidence to be able to show off himself without wanting to curl up into a little ball and rethink all of his life choices. Virgil was so cool, so confident, so amazing and Roman knew that Virgil was untouchable. But that didn't stop him from daydreaming about being at his level.

Virgil heard shuffling from the other side of the table. He looked up, saw Roman and smirked to himself, pulling out his phone to text Remy, _'The cute art kid's here'_ he got a response and chucked to himself, 

_'When are you going to ask him out, already?'_

_'When it's the right time! I gtg'_

_'Okay, bitch, see you later'_

Virgil looked up and Roman looked less bright than usual, he couldn't figure out why, but he just had a sadder vibe to him, he didn't like it at all, "Hey, you?" he asked, smirking at him with that same flirty smile that made anyone Virgil used it on blush, he loved that he had that effect on people.

Roman looked up from his drawing. "A-are you talking to me?" He looked around and wondered if he was dreaming. He swore that Virgil sounded flirty…

Virgil smirked, his deep brown eyes boring into Roman as he leaned forward his elbows on the table to get as close as possible. "Of course I am, who else?"

no way this is actually happening. Roman thought. "uh, I, uh I- I don't know." Roman broke eye contact with Virgil before he did something he would regret. "I have to go." Stumbling out of the classroom, he ran to the bathroom and stayed there for the rest of the period.

Virgil frowned, well, that went great he sighed, going back to painting the details in his painting, he was worried, but he couldn't go after him, the teacher wanted him focused, he wasn't even supposed to speak. He noticed Roman had left his sketchbook and smirked, At lunch, I'm going to return it to him, perfect.

Virgil walks out of the art rooms at the end of the period, waiting patiently for lunch in his classes. He felt a little uncomfortable carrying Roman's sketchbook because he didn't want Roman to think he stole it, but eventually, it was lunchtime and he was looking for Roman, searching around the cafeteria with his group of friends, Roman's sketchbook under his arm.

Roman had been freaking out all day. He had lost his fucking sketchbook. He usually relied on it so he could doodle in class because the teachers always got mad if they saw doodles on classwork. He had looked everywhere but he knew that he had it until art class. Which meant that it either fell out of his book bag in the hallways between art and science or that Janus or Remus stole it.

Either way, he was never going to get it back. "I worked so hard on some of those sketches and that notebook was pretty expensive too. Now I'm going to have to wait to save up" Roman felt tears well up in his eyes as he walked to lunch. He found a table and slumped down into one of the chairs. He put his head down and buried his face so nobody could see his tears. "This day is just going perfectly, isn't it," he thought.  
Virgil sat down opposite him, his friends standing protectively a few meters away, "Hey, you" he said gently, his voice sadder than earlier, he felt really bad, he hadn't meant to upset him and every second that went by he was more sure that he had.

Roman quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up. "Oh, uh, hey Virgil." He noticed that Virgil sounded way more caring than usual. Hoping Virgil didn't notice the redness of his eyes, Roman asked, "What's up?"

Virgil quickly picked up on how Roman had been crying and smiled at him carefully, "You okay, hun?" he asked gently, his eyebrows furrowed with worry as he reached forward, putting his hand on top of Roman's.

Roman, surprised by the act, quickly pulled his hand away. He immediately regretted it, seeing the hurt in Virgil's eyes, but it was too late. "fuck, he sees I've been crying doesn't he?" Roman thought. "Uh sorry, sorry I just- I just haven't been having a good day and I was startled and I-" Roman rambled on.

"Yeah, we all have bad days, don't worry, I get it." he smiled, "I just thought you might want this," he said, sliding the sketchbook across the table and putting it in front of him.

"Wait, how did you get this? I thought I lost it! Oh my god, you didn't take it, did you? Or was I an idiot and left it there? You took it didn't you? Geez, don't you have enough enemies? Thanks a lot, Virgil." He practically spits out his name and marches away with his things in hand, leaving Virgil alone at the table.

Virgil's heart twisted in his chest and he bit down on his lip, putting on a brave face. Patton tried to get his attention, but he put his hand up to stop him and walked off. 

His friends knew where Virgil had gone, they'd seen the hurt in his eyes, so they went after Roman. Logan caught him by the wrist, "really? You had to flip out, didn't you?" he sighed.  
Remy then chimed in, "He was trying to help, you moron"

"Stop defending him! just leave me alone! I've had enough of you "popular" people trying to make my life worse! There you go you've gotten the reaction you wanted. Are you happy?" Roman could barely see through his tears but he ran full speed away from the open-mouthed group and hid in the band room where he knew nobody would be. There, he curled himself up into a little ball and sat there until lunch was over.

Virgil’s friends made their way back to where Virgil was and managed to calm him down. He was mid panic attack, tears running down his face and his whole body tense with worry. The next lesson he had was with Patton, except Patton sat at the front and he was at the back right next to Roman...


	2. fighting words for a coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil have to suffer through yet more conflict, but will Roman be able to fix his gay bullshit?

When he walked in he winced and when Roman sent him a sharp glare, he almost burst into tears, but he sat there profusely scribbling numbers as a desperate attempt to try and keep himself calm.

Roman’s sadness had slowly morphed into anger and he was so done with everything. He couldn’t believe that he had actually idolized being at the top because in order to get to the top, you need to step on other people, people like himself. So he was done. He couldn’t wait to get out of this hellhole and enjoy summer even if it means being alone. 

When the class was over, Roman started to storm out of the classroom and Virgil caught his wrist, looking very worried, "R...Roman," he took a deep breath as a weak attempt to compose himself, "P...please, just let me explain...I'm-" despite his best efforts his breath hitched and he swallowed hard, trying to compose himself, but a tear slipped down his face and when he made eye contact with Roman, it was all over, he let out a sigh and his grip weakened on Roman's wrist, "I'm sorry..."

Roman was about to retort that Virgil’s acting skills were amazing when he realized that Virgil was being sincere. He never thought that Virgil was capable of that much emotion. “I-it’s whatever, don't worry about it. I’m not mad anymore so you can just forget about it.”

"But i am worried about it, I want to explain, I don't want you to think I'm some kind of..." he furiously wiped away his tears with his sleeve, "Some kind of moron who would pick on anyone to get what he wants, I'm not like that, I need you to understand because-...i didn’t do it to hurt you." he cut himself off, "You know what, it doesn't matter, I'll let you go, you probably don't want to hear anything I've got to say, anyway. Believe what you want to believe, Roman" he frowned, biting his lip and walking past him down the hallway.

‘what the hell was that?’ Roman wondered. Now he was just flat out confused rather than angry. He looked back as he walked out of school to see Virgil's friends scowling at him as they hurried to comfort their leader. 

"I just need a breather," he told himself as he walked to the bus. When he got there he slumped down into his seat and took a deep breath. "Whatcha sighing about, Loser?" A familiar voice taunted. "Janus, can you just not for one day? Please?" Roman begged. "You wish," Remus answered. "I can't wait to get home," Roman groaned.

The next day, Virgil didn't come to school. He couldn't bring himself to act with his usual persona right now when he was stuck in a pit of anxious self hatred. In fact he didn't go to school for the next two days either. His friends were getting more and more concerned and angry at his absence. They didn't really want to talk to Roman after his last outburst, but they wanted him to understand the gravity of what he'd done and when Virgil messaged Patton at two am begging for a distraction because he was scared he might 'do something he would regret' they'd had enough, so they went to find him.  
Roman couldn’t stop thinking about Virgil. He noticed that Virgil hadn’t shown up to school for three days and he was getting increasingly worried. All his doodles were getting pretty angsty and once, he even realized that he had been drawing Virgil in history. Of course he had thrown that picture out right away but it was a reflection of how preoccupied he was.

That lunchtime, they found Roman sitting by himself and quickly made their way over. It felt so strange without Virgil to lead them, but if they went through with this it meant he would be back to normal a lot sooner than if he came back to still see Roman's judgemental glares. Logan was the one to speak, Patton was too upset and Remy would end up slapping him. He spoke with a firm final tone, "Roman, you're coming with us, we have to explain this mess, it's not fair that Virgil is having to suffer because you refuse to listen to him."

"What do you guys want?" Roman asked. He also wanted to ask if they knew where Virgil was but judging by their expressions, he was probably going to get slapped or yelled at and it wasn't the time to ask. "What do you mean to suffer? Are you saying I did something? What'd I do?"

Logan sighed, "just come on, we'll explain, but not here" he said, turning around to glare at the table of girls who had started to stare. "Gossip travels fast and though we don't, for some reason, Virgil trusts you with this information. He shouldn't really, considering how you treated him, but he doesn't care about that, now come on."

Roman refused to move. "I didn't do anything to him! He took my sketchbook and somehow I'm the one at fault? Why do you people never seem to want to take responsibility?" Roman's anger started to bubble up again.

"What do you mean by that?" Logan spat, but was quickly interrupted by Patton as he desperately tried to calm the situation.

He looked at Roman and frowned, "Are you really not even slightly curious as to why Virgil hasn't been here for three days? He doesn't fall into a rut like this one unless he's...unless he's really hating himself." Patton sighed, his face twisted into one of such sadness and Logan quickly tried to comfort him, apologising profusely.

Remy then gave him a sad smile, "please, just hear us out, if you still don't care we will leave you alone, you'll never have to speak to us again."

“virgil hates himself? what the hell?” Bewildered, Roman allowed himself to be led away from the cafeteria.

They led Roman to a quiet ally that meant they could talk properly. Remy stood guard and Logan and Patton began to explain, "Virgil said he was just trying to talk to you and you ran off. He was highly disconcerted, but couldn't do anything about it since he was supposed to stay at a certain level of focus. When you didn't come back and he realised you'd left your sketchbook he wanted to bring it to you himself so he could be sure the bullies wouldn't get it." he frowned, "you know the rest of the story, that was all that needed to be said, anything else is information personal to Virgil that, honestly, I feel you don't deserve."

Roman was speechless. He had just assumed that Virgil had taken it to see what was inside as most people liked to do. "Are you saying he hasn't been coming to school because of me?" he practically whispered. "Oh shit, shit, shit, Is he okay? I didn't know, I should have known. Can you tell him I'm sorry? I didn't mean to snap like that at him."

"Well, he did try to explain, multiple times, and I'd really rather you stay away from him, he doesn't deserve scrutiny from someone with your temper." he said sharply, turning on his heel and leaving, Remy holding onto his arm as he walked past, sending Roman a glare. Patton bit his lip and gave him an apologetic look before he followed after them.

Roman just stood there, slightly panicking as he watched Logan, Remy, and Patton leave. “Who knew I could do something like that to someone so high up socially. I need to apologize.” But Roman didn’t know his number or address and his friends made it very clear that they weren’t going to help him with that. He went home that day very worried and rather guilty.


	3. fighting words for a coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the two are able to set apart their differences, but what pushes them together and at what cost.

Roman had distracted himself by going to the music room and writing a new song on the guitar. He liked it a lot and considered recording an actual version of it to submit to a contest he had found. His sketchbook was pretty full and he wanted some new supplies to use. He was alone, but he didn’t mind because if he was alone nobody could bother him. He had heard Virgil was back and he wanted to talk to him but whenever he had even gotten close enough to see him, his posse had given him such dirty looks that he backed down immediately.

Virgil's heart twisted in his chest every time he saw Roman's dejected looks. He thought that somehow it was worse than hatred. His friends had talked to him and he was almost certain that he wanted to apologise, but Virgil wasn't certain he wanted that. They went through the whole day successfully keeping Roman a safe distance from Virgil and at the end of school Logan left with Remy and Patton got picked up so he was finally alone. He stood there for a while leaning up against the wall and listening to music, but then he heard it, piercing cruel laughter and grunts and whimpers of pain along with a fair amount of begging please of 'stop' he furrowed his eyebrows and made his way over.

Roman had managed to avoid Janus and Remus for most of the day but he had been jumped just as he left the building. They had smashed his guitar and started to beat him up. "Please, Please just stop!" he begged the duo. He curled up into a little ball and protected his head as he took blow after blow. "They're gonna kill me," thought Roman.

Virgil walked over to the two and stood there glaring at them with the most burning angry glare he could muster. Janus was the first one to notice him and he froze before quickly trying to recover the situation, sharply elbowing Remus in the rib to get his attention, "Heyyy Virgil, we heard this guy was giving you trouble, we wanted to teach him a lesson." he said, obviously grasping for a reason Virgil wouldn't kill them for.

Roman was still hazy and he was pretty sure he had a concussion but he could swear he heard Janus said, Virgil. All he was sure about was that they stopped kicking and he hoped that they would leave him so he could go back home to take care of his wounds.

Virgil walked over to Janus and punched him hard, a sickening crack resounding around them and Virgil was sure he'd broken his nose, Remus backed up, but Virgil caught him too, shoving him into the wall and staring him dead in the eyes, 

"This is a warning to both of you, you lay a hand on Roman again and I'll break more than bones, he's mine, so back the fuck off," he said, kicking Remus hard between his legs and punching him, it was sure he would have a black eye. The bruises would serve as a simple warning, stay the fuck away from Roman he then kneeled down and helped Roman stand, practically carrying him to his car and putting him in the back, he had no choice, he had to take him home.

As Virgil was driving to his house, Roman looked hazy, his eyes seemed glazed over and unresponsive, it was really worrying him. He stopped the car in the driveway and looked carefully at the other boy, "Roman, talk to me, are you okay?"

Roman was drifting in and out of consciousness. Janus and Remus had thrown a few punches here and there but never full-on assaulted him. He heard someone ask if he was alright and he tried to nod and say “yes” but it hurt to move anything.

"Oh, god, Roman, you poor thing" he sighed, guiding him towards the empty house. Virgil had very wealthy parents, but they were never home. Both of them worked and were forever on business trips so most of their time was spent in hotels. He grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, "Okay, hun, this is going to be cold," he warned, gently putting the ice to his head.

"Ah, fuck that's cold." Roman managed to mutter. "Thanks, Virgil. Why are you helping me? Didn't I hurt you? I'm sorry."

"Shush, enough of that." He frowned, taking Roman's hand and pressing it over the ice resting against his temple, "hold that there" he then stood up and walked into the kitchen grabbing a glass of water, then walking back in and placing it on the coffee table. By the time Virgil got back, Roman was slumped over on the couch.

Virgil bit his lip, his eyes widening. He couldn't panic, now was not the time to panic. He sat down next to him, brushing his hair from his face. "I'm so sorry, Ro" he frowned, replacing the ice, now all he could do was wait for him to wake up.

When Roman woke up, the first thing he noticed was how much pain he was in. He nearly blacked out again but managed to regain his concentration. Then he noticed that he had no idea where he was. "The last thing I remember is moving in a car... but how was I driving? Wait, who was driving me? I thought everyone had... OH MY GOD I'M IN VIRGIL'S HOUSE!"

Virgil walked in from where he was in the kitchen grabbing more ice and saw Roman sitting up, "Oh good, you're awake" he smiled. Virgil then kneeled down in front of him and held his face, checking his eyes, "Alright, not as bad as I thought, that's good. Follow my finger with your eyes, not your head." he said, his hand still on Roman's face as he watched his eyes, moving his finger from the left to the right of Roman's head

Roman had trouble following the finger and he immediately felt the need to vomit. But that didn’t stop him from realizing how gentle Virgil was being.”I think- I think I’m gonna be sick.”

"Okay, honey, one second" Virgil picked up a bucket he'd set to the side and handed it to Roman, sitting next to him and gently running his hand through his hair, the other rubbing his back as he hushed him and whispered gentle words of comfort.

Roman finished puking after what felt like an eternity and he whispered 'thanks' to Virgil. He leaned his head against the other boy's shoulder and took a shaky breath.

Virgil wrapped an arm around his waist, looking down at him with a concerned frown, "feel any better or is it worse?" Virgil said carefully, his voice low and gentle. He was almost certain that Roman had a headache, so he wanted to be quiet

“Ugh, the fact that this is better is sad.” Roman sighed. He was glad that Virgil lowered his voice because he felt like he was somewhere between a hangover and a body flu.

"I know it hurts, but it won't last forever. I made sure they'll never go near you again. If they so much as look at you they'll be in big fuckin trouble." he said, holding onto him. He stood up and checked his phone, practically seething, but clearly not at Roman.

“Uh, thanks for that, Virgil. But you can’t possibly protect me everywhere so don’t worry about it ok?” Roman wondered why he helped him but he wasn’t sure if it would come off as ungrateful if he asked. However, curiosity won over him and he asked, “why?”

Virgil pursed his lips, raising a sceptical eyebrow, "Why what? Look, I don't need to protect you everywhere, they got the message, I mean it, they won't be coming back," he frowned, "I made sure of it."

“Why’d you help me? I thought you were upset at me. And it was totally my fault but whenever I tried to talk to you, you avoided me or your friends blocked me. I mean I don’t think I would help someone I barely know and I’m mad at.” Roman tried to explain. “Not that I’m ungrateful or anything! Just people tend to have ulterior motives when it comes to me.”

"Roman, I'm not mad at you" he sighed, "Not even a little bit," he said, sending him a sad smile. "I don't have time to hold grudges against anyone but myself." he frowned, "It's okay, I understand why you got defensive, but I don't want anything from you, I was just interested in you, honey" he smiled, "have you honestly never been hit on before?" he asked, smiling flirtatiously.

Roman’s face instantly turned red. He had never told anyone outright that he was gay. Sure he kept a rainbow pin on his backpack but he had hoped that people just assumed he was an ally. He had never been hit on and he didn’t know what to do. “You’re really gonna flirt with me while I look like this?”

"What do you mean? I think you look beautiful." he smiled sincerely, "but, I understand if you're not interested, I'll take a hint" he smiled, giving him a nod, "I'd honestly be happy to just be your friend, but of course I understand if you just want to stay away from me. Not everyone wants to mix with my type of crowd, I get that" he smiled, sadly. He really hoped that it didn't bother Roman, but wouldn't blame him if it did.

Roman couldn't believe Virgil was serious. He had daydreamed about this so many times, but he never thought it would be post-assault in Virgil's house on his couch. He had imagined it more like a parade with confetti and Virgil confessing his love, but honestly, as long as Roman had Virgil's love, it was enough. "I'm interested, don't worry."

Virgil rolled his eyes, shaking his head fondly, "Good to know," he winked, leaning back against the wall, "I'll bear that in mind. How's your head?" he asked, walking back over and sitting next to him, the kind concern back on his face.

"It feels like it's about to split open, to be honest." Roman tried to turn to look at him but somehow his whole body hurt when he tried to move his neck.  
"How about you lay back down? I don't suggest you sleep with a concussion so try to stay awake, but it might lessen the pain." he offered, gently touching the back of Roman's neck, "Does that hurt?"

Roman Winced, “Y-yes”. He leaned back on the couch and moved the ice pack to the back of his neck.

"Roman, how long have they... How long have they been doing this?" he winced, gently running his hand over one of the darkening bruises on his face.

“I mean I can’t really remember them not tormenting me,” Roman laughed bitterly. “But this is the first time they got super physical.”

"And it'll be the only time, too," Virgil muttered angrily. "They're complete idiots, I'm not letting them get away with it anymore, they took it too far this time." he scowled. "I take it you aren't going to school tomorrow, you need a rest, but would you mind staying with me when you do go back to school? At least for the first day?" he asked, "I want to make sure they got the message."

"I don't think your friends are going to be very happy with that. They made it quite clear that I'm supposed to stay away from you. Besides Doofus #1 and #2 are going to jump me on the bus again. I swear they have some sort of schedule that includes "Bother Roman" three different times." Roman sighed. "I probably need to get home. I still have homework."

"Okay," he sighed, "My friends will be fine once they know I'm fine, they were just being protective. Also, you did stay away from me, I was the one who brought you here." he said, a matter of factly, "But maybe I could drive you to school? I drive myself anyway, it wouldn't be too much trouble to pick you up, well, that is if you let me." he smiled, tilting his head

"But my house is the opposite direction of the school. I don't want to inconvenience you like that." Roman frowned. He didn't want to deal with Janus and Remus, but he didn't want to seem needy.

Virgil sighed, "Jesus, is this some kind of self-depreciation or are you just really bad at playing hard to get?" he frowned "Alright fine, but at least take my number and let me drive you home?" he asked

"Uh, ok. Where's my bag? My phone is in there. Oh yeah and my guitar, I brought it to school." Roman tried to stand up and winced.

"They're still in the car," Virgil winced, but continued hesitantly, "I'm not sure the guitar is salvageable, though, I'm sorry, Ro." he mumbled, "They really messed it up."

Stunned, Roman sat back down. “M-my guitar is- THEY BROKE MY GUITAR?!”

"I'm sorry, Ro, it was broken when I got there, I couldn't do anything." he frowned, "You okay?"

Roman couldn’t believe it. He had gotten the guitar as a gift a few years ago and it was one of his most prized possessions. All the tears that he had been holding back came bursting out and he started to sob. It hurt to cry but he couldn’t stop. “I barely make enough from commissions for college savings and I probably never will be able to get a new guitar for at least a year and I don’t think I could survive like that. I know I sound bratty but I need it!”

Virgil frowned, shaking his head slightly, "Hun, you don't sound bratty, I understand, it must have been very special to you, I'm really sorry, Ro." he said, gently rubbing his back and letting him cry, knowing that it was the only thing he could do for him right now.

Roman cried for all that he had lost. His guitar was the last thing that his grandpa gave him and he couldn’t believe that it was gone. He should have been more careful. He shouldn’t have brought it to school.

Virgil looked over to the window, it was already pitch dark, "Roman, I... I don't think it's a good idea for you to go home tonight. I'm honestly scared to even put you In the car, is it possible for you to stay here? You can have your own bedroom and everything, I'm just really worried, " he frowned

“But we have school tomorrow. Don’t you have to go? I already caused you to miss three days.”

Virgil bit his lip, "I'll get Patton to bring me the work, I can still do it and we have the same timetable." he hummed, "I doubt I'll miss much."

Roman really didn’t want to go back home and he had already annoyed Virgil enough by fighting him so he just sighed and nodded the best he could. “Okay, thank you.”

"It's fine, honestly, it's not like I don't have the room." he smiled, "please let me know if anything changes, better or worse, I want to keep an eye on you." giving Roman a nod, he began to walk upstairs, "I'll be right back, don't try and move please, you might hurt yourself."

Now that Roman was alone, he started to look around the room. Virgil basically lived in a mansion and it was a stark contrast to his one-room apartment across town. "Damn, he's really rich and popular?"


	4. ‘Can we do it again? Please?’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're a little worse for wear, but at least they're getting along... for now...

Virgil went upstairs, preparing the spare room so it was suitable for someone to stay in. He wasn't certain how long Roman was going to be there, but he didn't mind really, it got so lonely here and his friends were often busy. They had things to do and practice to go to, so he only hung out with them sometimes. He dusted off his hands, touching up his make-up and pulling on a thin grey patterned hoodie. It was soft, cool fabric and he loved it, it was his favourite for the warmer months and matched his shorts really well.

Roman sat awkwardly as he waited for Virgil to come back down. When he did, his jaw dropped. He had never seen Virgil in anything other than the emo outfits he wore. He looked so cute in his hoodie and he didn't seem as punk as he usually acted.

Virgil sighed, heading downstairs and walking into the kitchen, "You hungry?" he called into the living room, looking through the fridge for things he could use to make dinner. For a while, it was just stuff he could put in the microwave, but then he realised it was better that he learned how to cook properly.

“Uh not really. I don’t think I could eat in the state I’m in anyway.” Roman pointed at his bruised jaw and chuckled sadly.

"You got it, honey," he smiled apologetically, "I'll make you a smoothie, it'll have enough nutrients to hold you over and if you don't eat anything you won't be able to heal, it might not be fun, but you are going to eat something." he insisted, pulling out things from the fridge and cupboards, "You have any dietary restrictions?"

"Nah, I'm not allergic to anything. Don't worry. Thanks so much, Virgil."

"It's nothing, don't worry about it," he smiled. About thirty minutes later he walked in with a smoothie and a bowl of pasta. "Can you try and eat some of this?" he asked, handing him the bowl, "it's better for you, but if you can't handle it, the smoothie is there."

Roman grimaced and tried to eat the pasta but ended up just drinking a smoothie. "Thanks, Virgil. That was great. I'm impressed you know how to cook. I still don't and I live alone."

"Yeah, I needed to learn, apparently it isn't healthy to live on microwave food" he chuckled, "but anyway, I'm glad you like it, I'm just happy you ate something, " he smiled, walking over and carefully examining the bruises on Roman's face, "How's your head?"

"Still hurts but it's a little better." Roman hoped the bruises would cover how much he was blushing when Virgil leaned in close to check on his wounds. He had never really been this close to a boy and he didn't know how to handle it, especially with a cutie like Virgil. 

Virgil hummed, his lips inches away from Roman’s as he ran his thumb lightly over one of the bruises on Roman's jaw, "Jeez, that one has gotta hurt" he frowned, "One second, I'll get you some more ice"

“Wait...uh…” Roman stopped him, causing Virgil to turn around and meet his gaze with an unsure look. “Thank you...You’re helping me and you really, really don’t need to, I just want you to know that I appreciate it.” 

“Of course, Ro, it’s no problem at all,” Virgil reassured him. As they sat there, Virgil paused for a few seconds as if considering something. In response, all Roman could find himself doing was flushing under his gaze and ducking his head. 

Virgil gently reached over and lifted his chin with his thumb and forefinger, sharing a few brief moments of eye contact with the flustered boy before he gently took Roman’s face in his hands and leaned forward, his voice just barely a whisper, deep and raspy making Roman barely be able to hold himself together. “Really, not a problem, babes,” he smirked before he gently leaned forward and kissed him, only beginning with a delicate brush of their lips, then going a little more forceful once he’d tested the waters.

Roman’s eyes widened and he squeaked as Virgil connected their lips, but the taste of vanilla and coffee made him ease up. He whined softly at the sensation of Virgil very gently wrapping his arms around his neck as if he were made of glass and chased the feeling once it was over, but to no avail. Virgil pulled back and Roman huffed slightly, trying to lean in for more which Virgil chuckled at, waking him from his trance as he blinked a few times. 

“You’re welcome, nerd.” he smiled, pecking roman’s lips and standing up so he could head into the kitchen. He picked up the dirty dishes from the table, he put them in the sink, coming back with an ice pack, "Okay, hold that there" he said, taking Roman's hand and gently putting it over the ice pack, "Try not to pass out this time" he grinned.

Roman didn't think it was possible for him to blush even more but it happened. He knew by now that Virgil noticed how red he was getting but he just tried to ignore it. "Uh yeah, that feels way better."

"Are you okay? you look traumatised. I just kissed you," he smirked and Roman only blinked again, looking quite shaken as he flushed a deeper red, looking just slightly dazed. 

“That was my first kiss…” he mumbled and Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Everything you imagined?” 

“So much more, can we do it again? Please?” he asked in a tone that made it sound more like begging.

“Maybe tomorrow if you’re lucky, I'm tired,” he commented, taking Roman’s hand and pulling him to his feet. “Let's go to bed, I'll show you where your room is and get you something to wear as pyjamas."

They headed upstairs and Virgil stopped outside a room "Alright, this one" he smiled, opening the door and gesturing to a large room with a four-poster double bed and a built-in closet that stretched over the entire wall. "I'll be right back," he said, walking into his own bedroom and into the walk-in to find Roman some clothes.

Roman was impressed by the size of the room. He already noticed that Virgil lived in a mansion but the guest room was bigger than his apartment. He was scared that he would ruin the perfectness of it and he felt out of place. It felt like it was a castle but instead of a gay Disney prince, he was a peasant.

When Virgil came back he put a neatly folded pair of loose sweatpants and a slightly oversized tank top on the bed. "here, I think these are big enough, let me know if not, the bathroom is through there." he smiled, pointing at a door opposite to the wardrobe. He was about to walk out, but turned, biting his lip, a concerned frown on his face. "And, Roman... Sleep well, you need a rest." he smiles, quietly stepping forward and hugging him, then giving him a nod and walking out, shutting the door behind him.

Roman changed into the clothes Virgil gave him and he collapsed onto the bed. He was so tired and he felt himself fall asleep almost instantly. But even sleep wasn't a refuge for him as he had a nightmare of being back in that horrible moment.


	5. there's no shame in asking for help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil finds out more about Roman and uncovers some heartbreaking truths about his home life

Virgil woke up the next morning after a pretty restless night. He tried his best to get some school work done, but his knuckles hurt and whenever he picked a pencil or pen to write with, it hurt like crazy. At around ten o'clock he made Roman some toast and got him a glass of water, taking it upstairs and putting it on his bedside cabinet. "Morning, Roman," he said, gently shaking him awake.

“I’M UP!” Roman yelled before he realized where he was. “I’m up,” he repeated more quietly the second time. “Sorry, I forgot where I was. What time is it?”

Virgil's eyes were a little concerned, as he raised an eyebrow, but then he smiled at Roman, fondly, "Hey, don't worry about it, It's around ten-thirty" Virgil, smiled.

“Ah okay.” Roman sighed and leaned back on the bed. His body still ached and he was glad he didn’t have to go to school that day.

"You feeling any better?" Virgil asked, hopefully, picking up the basket of laundry and collecting Roman's clothes from yesterday. "for now, you can keep borrowing my stuff, I really don't mind, you look adorable, but at some point, it might be better to take a short trip to your house to pick up some clothes if you want to stay here a little longer, that is?"

“Sure, I don’t think my house is too far.” Roman tried to pretend he didn’t hear the compliment so he wouldn’t combust out of embarrassment.

"Alright, we'll go a bit later, you need breakfast first." Virgil smiled, "I'll be downstairs, feel free to come downstairs when you're ready. If you need help, don't be scared to let me know" he smiled, flouncing downstairs and into the kitchen to make a start on the laundry.

“Ok, Roman, you can do this.” He tried to get out of bed but his legs hurt so he just sat there contemplating life. Then he thought of Virgil downstairs and decided to try one more time .

Virgil smiled, quietly humming to himself. He'd put the laundry in for a wash and was now cooking eggs and toast. He carefully set the food onto plates and made a few glasses of water. He then laid the plates, cutlery and glasses at the table. He heard shuffling upstairs and got a little worried, but tried to brush it off.

“Fuck!” Roman struggled to put his pants on and nearly fell over. ”Very graceful, Roman.” He contemplated asking Virgil for help but his pride stopped him.

Virgil only proceeded to become more concerned when he heard muttered cursing coming from upstairs. The nerdy theatre kid who had never gotten detention in his life cursing was something that Virgil found a little out of the ordinary, and it would be pretty amusing if it wasn't for his increasing worry.

“Ok now for the shirt.” Roman tried as hard as he could but he found that he could barely raise his arm over his head. “Oh my god just go in already.” He forced his arm higher than he should and immediately heard a loud popping sound.

Virgil frowns, he'd heard another pained whimper and it was obvious Roman wasn't going to ask for help despite the fact that he clearly needed it. He walked upstairs and knocked on the door, "Ro, are you alright?"

“Yep I’m all good” he muttered through gritted teeth. Now there was no way he could get the shirt on but still, he refused to ask for help. His shoulder was killing him but he could still move it a bit even though he knew he probably pulled something he shouldn’t have

"Roman, please let me help, I'm worried" he frowned, standing against the wall next to the door. "you sound like you're in a lot of pain, it doesn't make you any less of an amazing person to ask for help."

“Yes I need help,” he mumbled. It killed him to have to ask for help but even he had to admit that he wasn’t going to be able to put on his clothes himself.

"Thank god" Virgil muttered under his breath, slowly opening the door, "What do you need, Ro?" he asks with a gentle smile, trying to reassure the other boy.

“Uh, I can’t get this shirt on by myself apparently.” Roman did his best to smile but he was just miserable at himself and angry at Janus and Remus.

"Alright, then let's try again" he smiled, walking over, "If you let yourself get angry, it'll hurt more, don't force it, nice and slow," Virgil said, his voice low and smooth. He carefully helped Roman pull the shirt over his head and then looked at him "see, that wasn't so bad"

“I’m not a child you know.” Roman grinned. “Thank you, Virgil.”

"Oh, I know" Virgil smirked, leaning close to him, "You look way too pretty shirtless to be a child. Now let's get you some food" he smiled

Roman did a double-take when he realized what Virgil said but didn’t comment. He followed him down to the kitchen and he smelled the eggs and toast.

Virgil smiled, hopping up onto the counter, "I already ate, your food is on the table, let me know if you still have trouble eating" he smiled, cheerfully, picking up a Smoothie he'd made himself and taking a sip.

“This is so good Virgil.” Roman shoved the food in his mouth. After just a smoothie for dinner, he was starving.

"Thank you, hun" he smiled, he'd figured Roman would be very hungry, especially since he was recovering, so he went to the fridge quickly made up a bowl of fruit salad, putting it next to Roman.

Roman hesitated to reach for the fruit but he decided that eating now would be a good idea. “Thanks so much.”

"It's okay, you looked hungry" he smiled, "You know, maybe when you're feeling better, I would love to take you on a date" he smirked, watching for Roman's reaction.

“Who says we have to wait until I feel better? Just being with you is enough,” 

"Awe, that's so sweet," he smiled, walking over to where Roman was sitting and pulling out the chair next to him. "but I would really like to take you out, sugar, I know the perfect place, you would love it"

“And I have the perfect place for us too.” Roman wiggled his eyebrows; or at least tried his best to.

Virgil rolled his eyes, "you're such a nerd," he grinned, shuffling his chair closer to Roman and resting his head on his shoulder. "but I don't mind, just as long as you're my nerd" he sighed contentedly.

Roman couldn’t be happier which was funny to him considering the situation. Nonetheless, he was basically floating all through the day and nothing could bring him down since there was no school.

Virgil couldn't fathom how nice it was to see Roman actually smiling. His real, shining, beautiful smile. Virgil had been putting it off, not wanting to ruin Roman's good mood, but he wanted to do it before the end of school and all the other kids got out, "Okay, Ro, we got to go get you some of your stuff" he called.

Roman’s smile immediately dropped but he managed to fake one before Virgil could notice (at least he hoped). “Ok, can we go really quickly?”

"Of course we can," he said, slipping his hand in Roman's. He was worried, he'd managed to catch that split second fear that flashed through Roman's eyes and he was not happy about it, "Come on, I'll be there with you the whole time." he encouraged

Roman squeezed the other boy’s hand. “I feel like I’m saying this for the hundredth time this morning but thanks.”

"It's alright, Ro, I'm happy to be there for you," he said, smiling at him. They went out to Virgil's car and he put the keys into the ignition, "Okay, I'm going to need directions, honey."

“It’s on the other side of town. The address is 27 Joan Ave.” Roman could feel a bit of panic rising in him as he thought of the possible scenarios. He hoped that his parents were out and that Remus went to school.

Virgil stopped, looking over at Roman, "Alright, sweetie, I know you don't want to go home for whatever reason. I don't expect you to tell me, don't feel like you have to justify your fear to me" he said, reaching over to rest his hand on Roman's, "I'll be right by your side, I won't let anyone hurt you" he said, reaching up to place his other hand on Roman's cheek, "I promise."

Roman put his hands over Virgil’s and smiled. “Okay, I trust you. Let’s go.”

Virgil smiled, "good, try to smile, sweetheart, your smile is gorgeous, so much nicer than a frown." he smiled, starting the car and driving in the direction of his house, the streets becoming more and more run down the further from Virgil's house they got. Roman tried not to look outside and concentrated on the music on the radio.


	6. maybe shitty parents can be our always?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More is revealed about Roman and Virgil's family life and communication is really still not their strong suit.

Virgil pulls up outside the house, not a single ounce of judgement on his face as he got out of the car and opened the door for Roman, "Come on, lovely, we're here"

He hopped out of the car and noticed his parents’ car in the driveway. “Hey, maybe we can come back later?” He said as he hesitated to move toward.

Virgil immediately nodded, turning and getting back in the car, not hesitating as he drove them a safe distance away, stopping the car, "Alright, what's going on, are you alright?" he asked, taking his hand.

“My parents aren’t the nicest people.” Roman felt his face turning red. “And I don’t want you to have to fight them or get hurt because of them. They’re home right now and I don’t really need anything at the moment so... let’s not?”

Virgil nodded, "It's okay, I understand, my parents make sure I have enough money to buy what I need, but I haven't seen them for what must be... Five months, now?" he said, sadly. "at this point, I'm not even sure they still remember I exist."

“I’m sure they remember. How come you don’t talk? If you are comfortable with sharing of course.” Roman looked at Virgil with concerned eyes

Virgil looked up at Roman, tears visible in his eyes for a second, but he quickly blinked them away, smiling to cover it up. "they work a lot, come back for a few days, tell me that I'm not doing enough and that I should be better, then they leave again." he sighed.

“that must have been why the house was so empty...” thought Roman. “Well you’re good enough for me and if your parents can’t see that, that’s their loss.” Roman smiled and put his hand on Virgil’s cheek.

Virgil smiled, his eyes softening, "th... Thank you, Ro, for that... I really needed that" he mumbled, leaning into Roman's hand. "come on, I'll drive us back to my house and we can watch a movie" he grinned, starting the car.

Roman grinned back and let out a breath. He watched as he got further and further from the nightmare that could have happened if he had been alone.

Virgil pulled into his driveway, taking Roman's hand and pulling him back indoors. Just as they got inside, Virgil's phone went off. "one sec, Ro," he smiled

“Sure.” Roman had figured out the general layout of the house so he wandered over to the living room.

Virgil walked into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. "Hello?" he asked, putting the phone to his ear, "Oh, hi... Yeah... Oh, god I forgot... Yeah, of course...that's fine, okay... Okay, yeah, I'll see you later" he finished, putting the phone down, "Hey, Ro?" he called.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Roman popped his head into the kitchen

"Okay, so I kinda forgot that Remy comes over every week on Mondays, we just catch up, really. My friends like to keep an eye on me, but it's become a bit of a routine and he's bringing Logan with him." he sighs, "Will you be okay?"  
"Y-yeah of course." Roman was a bit apprehensive to say yes but he didn't want to stop Virgil from hanging out with his friends.

Virgil bit his lip, eyeing Roman carefully, "Alright, hun, if you're sure." he smiled, kissing Roman's forehead. "I have to head upstairs, they'll be here soon, I won't be long"

“Alright.” Roman shifted back and forth awkwardly as he waited for Virgil to come back down.

While Virgil ran upstairs, wanting to get changed because the weather had gotten significantly warmer, Logan and Remy pulled into the driveway, Logan holding Remy's hand as he spoke animatedly.

Roman heard Logan and Remy approaching the door and he hoped Virgil would come back quickly. But when he heard the door open, he knew that he would have to deal with the pair alone until Virgil came down.

Remy beamed up at Logan, deep in conversation as his boyfriend stares lovingly at him. "Well, remember, I think that's lovely, you should be proud of yourself" he smiled fondly.  
"Well, duh, I worked so hard for this it would be-" he cut off as he saw Roman, freezing.   
Then Logan looked up and immediately stepped forward, separating Remy from Roman, "What are you doing here?" he scowled.

“Uh, I was just- I mean- I’m here because,” Roman struggled to answer and tried to avoid eye contact with Logan.

Logan raised an eyebrow, incredulously "Oh, for god's sake, I thought I told you to leave Virgil alone" he huffed, sighing exasperatedly. Remy had a tiredly irritated look on his face and didn't look any happier to see Roman.  
"Rem, go get Virgil, please" Logan sighed, pulling out his phone.

Virgil followed Remy down the stairs. Remy turned back around to look at Virgil and continued speaking, "So, we need to talk, hun, because you kind of left us hanging with whatever the fuck happened."

Roman relaxed a bit after he saw Virgil but immediately tensed back up when he saw Virgil being pulled away by Remy and Logan.

Virgil sighed, "alright alright, Remy, just give me one second." he said, rolling his eyes. He then made his way over to Roman who was standing, rather awkwardly, in the corner of the room. "Hey, Ro" he said gently, cupping his cheek, "It's going to be okay. " He took Roman's hand and led him into the kitchen, handing him a glass of water. "Now you two, what did you want?" he smirked, turning to Remy and Logan.

Virgil then told them what had happened, trying to explain. It was undeniable that he'd acted irrationally and probably could have handled the situation a whole lot better. "Yeah, I know, it was such a mess and I didn't really realise what I was doing until it was too late." he sighed, biting down on his lip, nervously. "I've been trying to take care of Roman ever since because they really hurt him. His nose was bleeding, he had a really bad black eye, and the list goes on. I was scared and I lashed out" he sighed, looking down guiltily.

Roman sipped his water as he eyed Remy, Virgil, and Logan. Although he only heard some parts of the conversation, he started getting suspicious when he heard “you beat the shit out of... why would you break his nose?... what were you thinking going around and fighting people?” That last piece of the conversation was all Roman needed to hear.  
He marched over to Virgil and his friends. “If you’re going around beating people up, then I don’t think we’ll work out.” he snapped.

Virgil froze, blinking a few times, "no, Roman... I... I didn't mean to-..." his breath hitched and his words seemed to be stuck in his throat. "no, I did it to... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" he stuttered out, not able to force out the last of his words. Roman didn’t stick around to let Virgil finish. He turned on his heel and walked out of the house.


	7. talk to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yet more conflict takes Roman and Virgil's relationship to the edge of its limit and it becomes uncertain whether they can fix it this time.

Virgil felt his breathing get stuck in his throat as he watched roman go, unable to move as if he was stuck in place. He tried to gasp to get it back but it didn't work, in fact, it only made it worse. A few tears gloss over his eyes and he froze, his breathing laboured and only audible in quiet wheezes.

Roman knew it would be a long walk but he’d rather be alone than with Virgil. And here I was, thinking Virgil was a good person. Who did he beat up anyway? It doesn’t matter, he’s not any better than Janus or Remus.

Virgil finally managed to get a slight control over himself with the help of Remy and Logan. "Sorry guys" he mumbled.

"Hey, it's alright, Virgil, we understand" Logan started, "I apologise, I did not know you were dating" he smiled sadly. 

Virgil sighed, "Could you just leave me alone for a bit, guys, and keep an eye out for him please?" he requested getting a reluctant nod from Logan and they both left, knowing Virgil was serious when he asked to be left alone.

Roman walked down to the other side of town where his house was. When he got into the neighbourhood, he saw that his parents were still home so he sighed before walking in. “HEY, where the fuck have you been?” Roman’s dad yelled. Roman just ignored him and walked to his room and slammed the door.

Virgil sighed, flopping backwards on his bed and curling up into his comforter. He felt empty and honestly ashamed. Roman was right, a person like him doesn't deserve someone as amazing as Roman. 'At least he realised that before he got hurt,' he thought, trying to ignore the pain that seemed to envelop his whole body.

Roman curled up in his bed and pulled his blanket over himself. He knew that it was better off that he pulled himself out of the situation but he still felt slightly bad considering how nicely Virgil had been treating him.

Virgil sighed, eventually lulling his mind into a fitful sleep. He woke up the next morning, his headbanging with a headache that was only a painful reminder of the day before. He climbed out of bed, taking a painkiller and drinking it down with a glass of water.

Roman fell asleep quickly and when he woke up, his body still hurt. He changed out of his clothes and realized that it was Virgil’s. Roman hesitated and then shoved it to the back of his closet. He debated whether it was worth going to school but decided that it would be a bad idea to skip again.

Virgil debated going to school but decided that it would mean questions. Questions he didn't want to answer, Questions he didn't want to hear. He spent the day catching up on all the work Patton sent him and doing it to the best of his ability. He knew that if he was focused enough, he wouldn't have to think, those were the best times, he didn't like to think.

Roman knew it would be bad if he saw Virgil the very next day he “broke up” with him but he was still disappointed when he didn’t see him. He was so preoccupied that he didn’t even notice that Janus and Remus left him alone.  
Logan and the others walked into school the next day and after seeing Virgil, they knew he wouldn't be there for at least a day or two. They saw Roman but didn't even bother trying to approach him, just keeping a close eye on him as they promised Virgil.

A few days passed and Roman finally noticed why the days felt so weird. Janus and Remus hadn’t been bothering him at all. Even further some jock complimented his outfit. “What is going on?” he wondered.

It took a whole three days before Virgil decided to come into school again. The first time he saw Roman was in his art class, but he paid him no mind. He spent his time showing his art teacher the work he'd done and requesting to work on a larger canvas for a new painting idea he had. The art teacher told him she liked his idea and he quickly got to work, painting in blacks, whites and greys, very different from his usual style.

Roman tried to keep his gaze from wandering over to Virgil but he still noticed that his canvas was no longer a bright explosion of colour but instead made with neutral colours and the piece itself looked so unlike. He felt a part of his soul ache for Virgil, but made sure he wouldn’t give in and approach him. Besides the fact of Virgil, Roman’s life was at a pretty high point. His parents still paid no attention to him and his normal tormentors had decided to leave him alone. He knew he should be happy, but part of him still felt empty.

Virgil had only begun the basic structure and background, but it already carried the pain and melancholy he was trying to transfer into it. After all, he usually got rid of feelings through painting, this would not be an exception, he would make sure of it. A few times, he looked over at Roman, a longing to go over and apologise tugged at him, but he wouldn't do it. He didn't have to, Roman had made it very clear that he didn't want anything to do with him.

The next day of school, Virgil sauntered in late, a grim expression on his face and a deep feeling of sadness pressing on his chest. He thought it would get better, but it turns out that over the weekend he just deeply missed Roman and had plenty of time to think about all the mistakes he'd made that went towards Roman breaking up with him. He walked over to his friend group and debated skipping English. It was the subject he sat next to Roman in and he really didn't want to go, but in the end, he walked in, leaning against the wall and waiting for the inevitable ignoring of his presence or maybe even hateful glares from the boy who he'd been in love with not even a week ago.

Virgil had been trying his hardest to look unbothered that day. He wasn't going to let Roman know just how much this was getting to him. Today, his makeup was slightly darker and more dramatic than usual, but not over the top. It was a good mixture of black and purple with a faded black eyeshadow with purple blended into his eyelid and purple lipstick to match. He needed it to cover the eye bags from his ruined sleep schedule and all of his makeup was waterproof, just in case. He wore a loose shirt which would give him the confidence that he always looked smaller in his larger shirts and that was the look he usually went for. As Roman sat down, he looked troubled, it made him want to ask what was wrong, but he knew better.

Each day that went by, Virgil only found himself feeling worse. He didn't even care if Roman didn't want to date him, he just wanted to be able to talk to him. To go back to the time when Roman would give him adorable shy little glances in his art class and he hated to think about the fact that it was completely gone.


	8. ‘hey, Ro, i miss you…’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Roman need come to a conclusion where they listen to one another. While all their problems are far from solved, for once are they are able to be content with staying in the moment and just enjoying it together? Or will their lack of communication be their downfall?

The next day, Virgil came to school with a completely numb expression. There was nothing there, not any visible emotion behind his eyes and it was heartbreaking for his friends who hadn't ever really seen him this bad in such a long time.  
He completely ignored Roman now, it hurt less. His painting was now worked into enough that you could clearly make out the image. It was a man, tears flowing down his cheeks, his face twisted with emotion and his face warped and wrong. It often made people uneasy when they looked at it, but the teacher simply praised Virgil for this, not quite understanding what that meant and how truly worrying that really was.

Virgil had now gone to more quietly observing everything around him. He knew he was in the acceptance period and he hated it. He didn't want to move on, he didn't want to forget, but he had to stop caring about roman. He had to, for his sake. He decided that if he really wanted to put this to bed he wanted to write Roman a note. 

Hey, Ro, I miss you. Like a lot, but I know you've moved on and I'm happy for you. I'm glad you were able to do that, but if anything you deserve both an explanation and peace so that you can move on. Please meet me under the blossom tree in the park after school tomorrow. I want nothing from you, just turn up... Please?

Virgil felt antsy all day, being completely unable to focus and got next to no work done. He'd had no classes with Roman all day and really wasn't sure if he wanted to see him or not. The next day at school he had the same problem of being completely unable to focus and at the end of the school day, he slipped away from his friends. From there he made his way over to the tree and leaned against it, his whole demeanour being anxious and depressing as he waited for Roman.

Roman rushed through the day, waiting until he could meet Virgil under the tree. As soon as the last bell rang, he sprinted over to the park but when he saw Virgil, he hesitated. 

Virgil had his headphones plugged in and was trying to connect himself with reality and calm down enough that he could emanate some positive substitute for his usual confidence which had clearly disappeared. His jaw set as a song played, the very same song he was listening to just before he beat up Remus and Janus when he was trying to save Roman.

“Uh, hey, Virgil?” Roman approached the boy. He sat down next to him but was visibly unsure as to what to do.

Virgil's gaze lifted from the ground to Roman's eyes and there was so much emotion swimming in Virgil's dark orbs as he gave roman a weak smile. "Hey Roman, so you actually came then? That's good, thank you," he said, slowly, his voice empty of its usual sarcasm or sass.

“Of course I came. I wanted to talk to you too.”

Virgil gave Roman a weak smile, "Good, that means you're willing to let me explain." he mumbled, mostly to himself,

"Okay so, I've always found your presence oddly calming. I liked to work by you because you gave me new ideas that weren't so... Depressing, when I finally decided to talk to you, you ran away leaving your sketchbook behind. I was aware that Remus and Janus might have been hurting you, but I had absolutely no idea just how bad it was." he shuddered. 

"so I wanted to bring your sketchbook to you myself, it would be nicer for you. Obviously, I didn't quite expect your reaction and i-...Well, I don't really understand why it hit me as hard as it did. So, from there, I was told to stay away for my own good... Except... I couldn't" he sighed.  
Roman blushed. “I’m so sorry Virgil, I didn’t mean to flip out on you and I wasn’t having the best of days. I hope you can forgive me.”

"It's okay, I forgave you quite a while ago" he smiled, weakly. "Anyway, after that, I decided it would probably be best to give you space as you'd asked, All my other friends had gone home and I was standing outside the school on my own. I heard these really worrying scared noises and I wanted to make sure, whoever it was, that they were okay" he said slowly, seemingly curling further in on himself.

Roman wanted to reach out and comfort him but he wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do at the moment. Honestly, he wasn't sure about anything.

He took a deep breath and slowly continued, "I turned the corner into an alley and... And Remus and Janus were attacking you..." he frowned, "you looked really hurt and scared so, so scared. That made me angry... I just wanted to protect you...so I pulled them off you, kicked Remus and broke Janus' nose. They finally ran away and I managed to get you out of there, you didn't seem like yourself at all, I was just so worried and angry." he sighed, regret deep in his voice, "that's what we were walking about... I don't, 'go around beating people up' as you put it. I've never done it unless it was to defend someone."

Roman didn’t know what to say. He regretted how he jumped to a conclusion again. “I-I’m so sorry Virgil. I know you wouldn’t want to but could you even consider the possibility of taking me back?” 

Virgil blinked a few times, furrowing his eyebrows and looking up at Roman. "Well...There are a few problems that I can think of with that." He began, "First of all, how can I be sure you won't do this again? You're a very impulsive person and clearly not willing to let me explain until you realise how much damage has been caused. he sighed, leaving over to look into Roman's eyes, "I do still love you and I have a feeling it will be like that for a long time, but... I'm not good for you" he finished

Roman was hurt. He knew he said that Virgil didn’t have to take him back but he was hoping he would say yes, of course. I’ll love you forever Roman or something along those lines and whisk him away into the sunset, but that wasn’t going to happen unless he proved to Virgil that he could change.

“Please just give me a chance?” he asked, “Give us a chance, just one more…”

Virgil sighed, taking a deep breath and nodding. “Okay, roman. Fine, one chance.”

Roman sniffled and stepped forward to hug Virgil tightly. He took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. “Thank you”

"You want to talk about this at my house?" he asked, running a hand through Roman's hair to try and comfort him. 

“Yeah, I would like that.” Roman got up and walked along with Virgil to his car.

Virgil unlocks the car, starting to drive to his house, "So, what's going on, tell me from the beginning, please. I haven't properly heard your side of this and I think I need to."

“It’s all just so dumb. I wanted to rely on you, but I was afraid of trusting and I don’t want my parents to find out I’m gay.” Roman hesitated and then said, “ If I were outed, I don’t know what I would do. All I know is I would be kicked out of the house.” Roman shuddered to think about being homeless at 16.

"Roman, honey...You seem almost...scared of your parents" Virgil said gently as he pulled into the driveway of his house, the car coming to a halt, "They...you're family, they don't hurt you, do they?" he asked carefully, taking Roman's hand for comfort.

“They rarely physically hurt me.” Roman looked uncomfortable, but he felt as peaceful as he could for the topic of conversation when he was around Virgil.

"Rarely? Oh, sweetheart" he said, his voice quiet and comforting, "it'll be alright," he said, squeezing his hand.

“I sure as hell hope so” Roman muttered too low for Virgil to hear. “Let’s go inside? Please?” He reaches for the car door handle.

Virgil nods, climbing out and glancing worriedly back at Roman before unlocking the door. He walked inside, going straight to the kitchen and sitting Roman down with a glass of water, offering him a blanket for comfort. "take a minute to get yourself together" he smiled, gently.

Roman sipped the water and eyed Virgil. He knew their relationship had been rocky but he was glad they met.

"I think it might be best and it's also something that I would really like...if you maybe...well if you wanted to move in with me for a little while?" he paused, taking a shaky breath, "The idea is that it will give you enough time to move all of your stuff and settle in here and then I'll know you'll be safe if Dee outs you. it's still not nice, but you would be safe."

Speechless, Roman stammered, trying to figure out how to answer him. "A-are you sure? I don't even know how my parents would react. Would they even let me? I don't want to be a burden."

"Actually, I've thought about it a few times..." he trailed off, "a roommate that is. My parents actually wanted me to get one, I'm pretty sure at this point" he mumbled, "But, I would suggest you didn't tell your parents until you were out of there."

“You’d want me as a roommate? After everything I've done?” Roman asked, furrowing his eyebrows and letting his face scrunch up with all sorts of worries.

“Yes, I do.” Virgil said, taking his hands, I’ve been through a lot with you in the short time we’ve had together and I want to try and do this the right way.” he said, sighing softly, “I’ve never had a good relationship and I want you to be my boyfriend.

Roman took one look at Virgil and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I’d... I’d really like that.” Roman didn't ever want to let go and he rested his head on Virgil's shoulder. "I love you, Virgil. I love you so much."

Virgil bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily before opening them again to speak, "really?... You do?" he asked, looking up at Roman to make sure that he wasn't trying to lie to make him feel better.

"Virgil, of course, I love you." Roman nuzzled his face into Virgil's neck. "I would never lie to you."

Virgil took Roman’s face in his hands and gently pressed their lips together, hearing Roman squeak adorably, just as he’d done the first time. This was only Roman’s second kiss of his life after all. 

Roman and Virgil stood there for a while, just basking in the other’s embrace for eternity. It felt so right, so natural. Roman knew that they were meant to be together and nothing the universe threw at them would stop them. They weren’t totally okay yet and they still had a whole lot to deal with, but as they stood there together, they knew that all felt right again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the support on this book. I am proud of the outcome and all the comments really push me forward in motivation. There will be a second book coming out shortly since most of it is already written. A prologue and summary for this will be up very soon, so if you want more of this ridiculously problematic pair, you won't need to wait very long.


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